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2023-10-06
| My husband and I are still working on our I-130/I-30A form on the USCIS website. He's doing the latter- or was. I think he's finished from the looks of it. He had me fill in the blank spaces for him because his phone wouldn't let him fill out the blanks on his phone and mine did. I've already messaged Kevin -the man who's sort of guiding us on this whole thing- a couple important questions I need to know before uploading the I-130A form into the system and I'm sure I'll hear back later on today. He's been pretty great at answering many of my questions so far. The only issues I'm having -besides my own financial worries- is my husband's depression about still being in Uruguay. He gets very stressed, anxious and when he gets like this, I'd rather not call him on the phone because it worries me to hear him. It's not a new thing, but I understand that he just wants to leave and come to live with me here. Believe me, it's been many years now of long distance I wish would come to an end, but I'm also not going to sit and complain about us not being together sooner when things happened the way they did and I can't change them. I told him It was important and necessary to give me correct dates and addresses for places he's lived and worked because we could get denied or delayed if USCIS finds that these dates do not coincide. The form he had to fill out was nothing more than information about places he's worked, lived and names of his parents and some basic details about them. Some things did not apply to us so we left that stuff blank. I'm still going to have Kevin look at everything for me to make sure it's fine. I still have to upload pictures of us and other proof of relationship, but I didn't see anything on the online form and I need to clarify this with him so I can get a move on on it. My husband seems really anxious about sending this form in but I have to keep reminding him that we're doing this without a lawyer and I want to be careful. The fee we have to pay for these forms is $535.00 and I don't know if he has that amount to give me. We agreed that he'd sell his Nikon Camera and the vintage SNES console with games I gave him for Christmas one year to make some extra cash. When I told him he should make a post on Facebook, he told me he wanted to get the forms sent FIRST, then he'd offer those things on Facebook. I wasn't getting it and I told him one thing had nothing to do with the other and making a post would only take five minutes. I didn't press him on it anymore- I just didn't want it to turn into an argument over something so dumb. We rarely ever argue and any cause of any arguments were never about us as a couple, but an external force like the stress of Visa stuff. I wish he'd listen to me about this, because he's stressed out that he doesn't listen to reason and I'm afraid that's going to set us back because he doesn't want to deal with stuff that has to be dealt with and if we can do something about it while we're still filling out this form, the better. Whatever. He told me he'd post those things, but apparently that doesn't mean now. Bad move in my opinion. A few years ago when we were talking about marriage and I brought up rings I liked and sent him links, he got so fucking stressed over it that he couldn't carry a conversation with me. It made me feel bad because talking about engagement rings is supposed to be a natural, happy thing when marriage -which we both very much wanted- is on the table. I know he was stressing about the price even though I didn't pick a ring that was thousands of dollars. Both my engagement ring and wedding band were less than one thousand dollars. My point is, he shuts down when he's majorly stressed... I mean, certain things shut me down when I am stressed too so I get it, because sometimes you need to shut the world off to regroup and organize your thoughts and I get that certain things have levels of stress depending on how deep it is. He already knew this visa stuff wasn't going to be pleasant. I warned him several times that immigrating to this country on a K-1, CR-1 visa is a process that involves fees and forms. Okay, now we're here, we're doing it and one of us has to be the calm in the middle storm because we can't both break down or roll ourselves up into a ball because this needs to get done one way or the other and this is something we both care immensely about and need to put our best effort into. I'm also having a crisis where I can't pile on my own feelings onto my husband because he's already a wreck and not trusting anyone else with my feelings because all they'd say is "Things will get better... you'll see" and even though that's a cliche, I just know the sun has to come out eventually and I don't know if it'll be at a time where i'll have no more strength in me to persevere. I know people have bad cycles and I'm one of those people and I happen to be married now and my husband is along for the ride but I always tell him we can't both break down. one of us has to be okay enough to continue to push the other forward until we make it out. I just can't wallow with him as much as I'd like to certain days because it's simply not healthy to do so. If I did it, I don't know how easy it would be to get out... and with things already being complicated, I have no business adding onto it. Being eternally emo isn't the way to go- because it's not 2007 anymore and because there's no time to be sad forever when there's stuff to be done for the greater good.
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| Feeling Worse in Church. - 2023-10-28 That early 2000's nostalgia - 2023-10-20 Panic at the Texas State Fair. - 2023-10-18 waiting for the new. - 2023-10-13 |