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Dear Diary...
Honestly, at first I didn't know why I hesitated to try on my courthouse dress. I liked the way it looked online. When I got it, it was extremely wrinkled and tough. I was underwhelmed but still not dismissing it as a loss since I got it at a discount and my logic told me I'd love it after getting it steamed. I was sure I had ordered the correct size. I let weeks go by with my mom constantly reminding me that I hadn't tried it on yet and that the clock was ticking. I assured her it would be fine, but I wasn't really that excited. I finally got it from its resting spot above my bookcase and I realized it had a zipper in the back. Damn. I hate zippers. I've always had a hate relationship with them in the off chance that they wouldn't zip up. That's always been a nightmare scenario which unfortunately came true with this dress. I admit this was my fault for not checking the specs closely. I quickly changed back to my loose bed clothes and got on a trusted website that I've ordered two dresses for weddings I've been to and found a long sleeved lace off-white dress in the size I would normally buy the other dresses from. This one doesn't have a zipper. It's a dress that stretches and is (like all their dresses) bump friendly in case you want maternity photos in it. Needless to say, I bought it and paid Express shipping (35 dollars...yikes) and it should be here with plenty of time to spare. This is the kind of wedding cliche I had hoped to avoid but still find funny enough to not be traumatized by and be able to tell my kids about someday. I hope to God it fits and I like it enough to where I won't feel too fat. I've gained weight, but I'd like to get back on track because I hate the feeling of not being able to shop easily. Clothes already stress me out and adding some weight gain on top of that doesn't help. When I told my fiancé what happened, he laughed. I mean, I'm usually the type of person who wouldn't procrastinate. I like to be prepared but dropped the ball on this one. He said "Can the dress be easily taken off?" Typical Uruguayan humor that I've come to expect. I had a mini crisis and all he could worry about is if he could take the dress off me easily. I love that guy. I said the dress was curvy friendly and that I just hope it would fit because I didn't really have time left to search for something else. He bought the suit he's going to wear and showed me pictures of him in it. He looked gorgeous. Everything looks good when you're 6 FT tall. The weather for the entire month of July will be cool and delicious and rainy and I can escape the summer here in Texas. I can't wait. I have a few things yet to come in the mail and I hope the most important ones come in time so I don't have to worry about it. My mother-in-law is already going crazy and prepping food for the day after the wedding, God bless her. My fiancé is her last and youngest son to get married and he always tells me his family never thought he would ever get married so they are all excited. They used to think he was weird but from all the evidence I've seen and gathered, he was just an artistic, long haired metal kid who didn't fit in to the typical Uruguayan male mold. Underneath all that hair and black clothes was a damn good looking guy. He cut his hair before we met though but I've seen lots of pictures. We're both not nervous... just ready to get married.
I'm not even kidding when I say there's people I'm related to who are smiling at me but have the audacity to gossip about the intentions of my fiancé, someone they've never met or know much about to be passing judgement, but I think most long distance relationships carry that stigma. It's pretty shitty that the only thing you can do is prove them wrong with time but whatever. I don't have the time or energy to even entertain those comments. People are going to be people and unfortunately, that's how the world rolls these days.

Till next time.

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Much Love,

Past Confessions:
The someday dress anecdote - 2023-05-21
I’m just good at pretending. - 2023-05-15
To all the boys I've liked before. - 2023-05-14
Never a Daddy's Girl. - 2023-04-04
Choices. - 2023-01-07