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Dear Diary...
A few years ago (before I even met my fiancé) someone knocked on our door selling security systems.
I was freaking smitten at first sight with this guy. We bonded at our mutual left-handed-ness and I gave him one of my lefty notebooks that my friend Tim had given me.

When I first started chatting with him, the first song that popped into my head like some kind of movie moment was (They long to be) Close to You by the Carpenters. Clear as Day. The song accurately described how I felt about meeting him and how I had never become smitten with anyone at first sight like that. He was charming and was only living in Dallas for the summer. He was the unreachable guy for someone like me. I always thought I could never land a hot guy and that guys like that - (the Utah, outdoorsy, blonde, blue-eyed type...) So the song made sense.

We became friends on Facebook and texted sometimes but then it soured. I was too insecure to just be the assertive one and say I had a crush and my thought process was: if he liked me, he would have spoken up. He didn't. But it had been a nice treat to meet and get to talk to someone from a different state. He was very nice and funny.

It's been years since I landed on a Carpenter's tune ("Superstar" has always been one of my abosolute favorite songs) I've always been a fan of Karen Carpenter's voice. I just came across the song again and thought of that interaction with this guy for the first time again in YEARS and couldn't help but laugh.

I did end up landing a hot guy. My almost husband is truly a beautiful man that is obsessed with me which is something I didn't think I could have due to my self criticism.
I've had lots of crushes in my life... lots of 'almosts' that never stuck. Sometimes I'd put myself out there if I thought the person was worth it and it was always a big deal because I'm not usually like this. It doesn't come naturally to me. I think I'll always be reminded of this person if I ever hear "Close to You" again, it's kind of inevitable! I attach songs to people I know and have met if it comes to be.

I think he's engaged now. And wherever he is, I wish him the very best! He was a very nice person.
I'm getting married in 15 days! (it's 12:28AM) So excited. So happy.

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Much Love,

Past Confessions:
The someday dress anecdote - 2023-05-21
I’m just good at pretending. - 2023-05-15
To all the boys I've liked before. - 2023-05-14
Never a Daddy's Girl. - 2023-04-04
Choices. - 2023-01-07