|
living on repeat.
|
They called and left a message for me from work. Shaw wanted to see if I'd come in to take care of our returns. Pshtt, no.
I didn't call them back. Wasn't in the mood for the workload today. It's chillier and the thought of putting on work clothes and going outside made me lazier. Jen or Juanita should of taken care of that. i don't like picking up the slack others leave behind because when I'm there, i do what i need to do to make sure the person after me has an easy time. Why can't others be like that?
I am smart enough to know you can't possibly expect others (or the majority of) to be considerate about stuff but it doesn't stop you from wishing they were.I skipped gym this morning too. my bed was too comfortable. i just hope i can stay commited to my eating plan and not succumb to all the fall/winter goodies at the store. it's hard to believe that in about three months, it'll be a year since Fabián was here.
Now i have to wait until July or August and without knowing at all if things will be better or how much closer i am to getting engaged.
Right now, I'm just trying to cheer him through night school. it's all i CAN do from here. Any time i feel like he's lagging, it scares me because he blocks himself and all he wants to do is play Resident Evil or Soccer on his PC. At the end of the day, this is for US, not for his siblings or mother.
Seriously, if he gets into ORT, graduates with a legit degree, we get married and he moves to the United States, it'll shut down everyone that ever doubted he could be great out there. His father, his brother, his current boss...
anyone whoever said a bad word.
I know we can get there, but it'll take a lot of cheering and pep talks. i can see us doing great.
To be honest, i don't want to live in Dallas anymore. I'm exhausted at city life. Can't stand that you have to drive so far to get anywhere. I've always been fond of small town living in an easy going climate. Sitting in traffic and not moving is not how i want to live life. Working somewhere that i hate just to live. That's not how i want to live. tied down and have a routine. cause there's a difference between living a balanced life and living on repeat.
I know Fabi feels the same.
I also know my family wouldn't want me living too far away when i do get married but they lived their lives, i want to choose mine and if it's far from here, so be it.
I do not wish to live enslaved to bills. i want to have a place to call home but also know that i can pack a bag and travel with my husband. other people do it. I can too. I just think there's more to life.
And even if some of that never comes true, at least i know in my heart i had the intention of doing something different.
prev / next
|
|
posted on 2015-10-22 @ 8:32 p.m.
|
