i don't feel bad about not going anyway because I'm going to the wedding in January.
Emotionally, right now my eyes can't really handle seeing someone else getting engaged before me. my heart can't handle it.

i have to fake smile when they ask me when i will be getting engaged to fabián and i have to make up some story to cover up the fact that we're pretty much waiting for my dad to give us the blessing because as far as he's concerned, he's "not my boyfriend" even though fabi and i have been together for two and a half years.

So i just need to stay away from these things and just suck it up come January as i watch others go towards their happiness while i have to wait still to marry the love of my life.

woop.

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