On Sundays when i have to get up at 9:00, it's harder for me. I'm deeper in sleep so getting myself out of bed seems harder even though i'm sleeping longer.

I woke up this morning to drizzle and cold but by the time i got off, the ugly grey clouds were parting and it wasn't that cold because i drove with the windows down. I look out the window now and it's back to dark again. I'm so cold. I tried to sleep but lack of warmth wouldn't let me.

Work was hard. Physically i just wasn't up for it but somehow i dragged myself on through until the end. I'm stronger than what i think to be for the most part. I might need a hand here and there to get me through an unload on cold days when the dock is freezing but the process is fairly easy. I just have to deal with Bryant and the way he throws the boxes over. Most of them are heavy and when he throws them, all the clothes fall out. I hate that part the most.
As long as i can come home to a hot shower, i'm okay.

Speaking of which, i need one. I need to feel steam, heat. I wanna just lay there for a long time.
I also just need to tackle my insecurities with regards to my body. It's typical ones, nothing to be alarmed about.

I just want to feel sexy and wanted. I don't feel wanted or desired.

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