I keep the memory of him coming to my rescue. No one has ever stood up for me the way he has. I think i needed that, you know? I needed to believe that someone out there cared about me a good amount that they would care whether i was hurt and i thought about it, and it just seemed that in the past when people hurt me, it was as if they didn't really stop to think about how i would feel or how their actions would affect me, no... it was all in their best interest, whatever was convenient for them at the time. I was just a bump in the middle of their road. That's why i don't believe in promises anymore. To me, a promise was solid, unbreakable, permanent. I thought people kept them but the more relationships i had, the more i realized that words were just words that got scattered along. There was no intention behind them. "We'll See"
That's what i say.

I think about him, but i know he's in a good place and knowing they way he travels, it won't be long until he comes to Texas again either to see his sister or just the friends he's left here.

I think about TWood. He's been on my mind lately. I don't know why. Maybe i miss the way i knew i could always call and talk to him about anything. We saw eye to eye on a lot of things and it was nice having him there. I can't do that anymore. Having male friends isn't easy. Keeping them is harder. Even if your intentions are platonic, there is always some jealous woman in their lives who thinks she owns him. Can't tell you how hard this is and has been for me. I've had to deal with this three times already. three girls who had them choose. "You stop talking to her or me.." and that is something that has hurt and had made me cry because it never had to come to that. Funny thing is, i knew these guys years before these other women had even entered their lives, so i thought i meant something to them. I thought the other two out of the three would at least stick up for me. I thought our friendship was golden. Because i would of never asked any of them to choose. I would never be selfish enough to set an ultimatum.
Some People are so damn selfish. They only see a man and a woman. It never occurs to them that they are breaking up years of friendship.
TWood said some pretty hurtful things to me, and that venom was whispered into his ear. Then he wanted to be friends again. It didn't last another 24 hrs. That's the worst kind of thing you can do to someone who cares about you. Leave and come back multiple times. That's not having a fucking heart. Playing with the emotions of a good person. If you want to have walls up, just have someone do that.

That's why i don't believe in promises.

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