Mooch and Earl Sunflower Style

from one second to another.

I wonder how anyone makes sense of things when the mind is so cloudy or how a person is even capable of making a drastic decision from one second to another. How can you figure out if the choices you make are the wrong ones?
i guess, maybe when you find yourself doubting about what you did.
When you know for sure and are certain of a decision you make, you don't question it, then it travels and you never remember it again.
But, when something feels wrong, you just know it. You think you made something better, but all it's done is linger inside you.
I know when something feels wrong, especially when the decision involves me. I think of it and it doesn't make sense to me. I bite my lip and i rest my left hand on my chin. A strand of hair might get in my eyes and i do it automatically because i'm still so focused on trying to understand.
I trust that my judgement is good. My body does the talking, it feels. My pores react. I feel something inside of me that escapes through my skin, through my lips, my eyes. My heart pounds a little faster and louder. If we trusted our instincts more and looked up for guidance we would surely avoid alot of mistakes. We'd still make them but we'd avoid massive amounts of them.
I don't know about anyone else, but i want to avoid.

(8:09p.m.)
****I'm cold. Don't know why i came back. I know i must go to bed soon. I have work tomorrow, then i'm off again Friday. I'm not too crazy about working Saturday though. blah. Right now i have my Old Navy sweater that i've had since i was like 13 years old. It's comforting. It still has spots of the black paint i spilled on it back in 8th grade when we all painted our wooden creation. It keeps me warm, although i have nothing underneath, just my bare skin. ha. I do hope it snows. that's a rare thing here...especially when the sun keeps coming out of the clouds and then goes back to hiding. Anyway, that's all i have to say. I'm just going to watch a few shows then off to bed by 10:30. I hope tomorrow goes by fast. I just want to lay in bed.

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posted on 2009-12-02 @ 3:24 p.m.