Isn't there some sort of unspoken rule that people who do everything wrong are the ones who should be going through hard times because of it?

Here i am doing everything right. i listen to my folks, i trust their best interest in me, I abstained from sex, didn't get pregnant at 16 like my mom and never brought a guy home until Fabi. Sure, i had disasterous long distance relationships in the past but made it through them with a healed heart.

Maybe it feels unfair that i can't be engaged to the love of my life yet and she is when all she's done is mess up and disappoint her family.

I don't know.
Knowing my love is coming back early next year and that there will probably be no engagement then shatters my heart but I'm anticipating it so it's not a shock.
With the possibility of him starting University after his second visit is over, it means his whole income will go towards paying for ORT. Of course, it'll be worth it... it's an International University which means whether we live here in the U.S. or in Uruguay in the future, his degree will count. It's going to be worth the wait for a lifetime together.
But... my dad says he would never approve me going to South America until we are engaged and we can't get engaged without his blessing/approval.
So when will that be? i don't know.
Until then, i can only hold him, hug him, kiss him once a year when he is able to save money and earn his vacation time.

Even typing this up is exhausting.
Realizing this is my reality right now...

I don't care if our wedding is in 2 more years.
I want to be engaged. i want to have the security in knowing that the ring on my hand means we will be one step closer. That we'll get there.... that i am promised a wedding, a happy life with the one person i can't see my entire life without
it's my guarantee that we will be together without the distance soon.

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