If i fail, i fail. I don't want to look back and come to the conclusion that i didn't give it a go because i mentally sabotaged it all.

It's not that i've lost faith in fate, but you can only be in so many places at the right time and space with the planets all aligned before you realize that yet another guy you thought was cute and seemed to fit what you would look for didn't notice you the way you noticed him and that his girlfriend is only feet ahead waiting for him to catch up. Then you see it and tell yourself 'Oh... of course. That makes more sense'

When exactly does God shed light on you so that someone will actually care and things will fit into place? How much of life is actually 'meant to be' and how much of it is under our control? Am i supposed to come to the assumption that someone will suddenly find me datable or worth their time? I don't know anymore.

I feel like such a loser in those matters. I don't know if i'll ever find contentment.

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