It's been a few entries in since i've written for you. I got caught up in work, paying bills and setting aside a day for when Anthony flies in from New York.

For the most part, i'm doing well. I'm trying to sort out my feelings with God and learning to connect with him more. I wish to have more peace in my life and yet, some days i feel like i'll never be able to do that. I feel guilty going to Church like i would burst into flames because of some the things i've done.

I feel guilty for masturbating yet i do it because my body can't shake these feelings. I'm at the peak of my sexualness. I want sex more than ever, i crave it and doing this makes me feel good for a few minutes.It takes away from the frustration of not having it.

I don't regret some of the other things i've done, because i wanted to do them but i do wish that i had handled them better if i was ever given the opportunity to start over.

I don't understand why some people view sex as something so fucking terrible. That's not the worst possible thing in life. God gave us sex to enjoy and express it to the ones we love.

I know, You're probably not a virgin. I'm very okay with that... as long as i'm the last person you always want to make love to once we're together. I want to be the one you ever want to feel pleasure from.

I want it so much now.
I want this feeling pulsating through my body and i can't take it anymore. Sucks to be alone sometimes.

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