I refuse to let it get to me. I don't want to go along with everyone panicking and not knowing what to do. I wish it didn't have to be this way but there are things that must happen. People need to start looking up more and stop trying to look for answers elsewhere.

I've been keeping my nose out of CNN and just about anything else and i've been watching a few movies i had never seen before. There's this one i watched that has Leonardo DiCaprio on it. He must have been like 22 years old then and the way he scrunches his forehead when he's concentrated makes him look so... handsome and boy-ish. That's why i was so crazy about him.

Anyway, i have no energy for work tomorrow even though i don't have to get up at dawn for it. It's cold out. I want winter to end and i want the breeze to take over this place. It just reminds me that i can go sit out by the lake again like i used to. It was so peaceful and amazing. It made me forget that i even had to go back after a little while. Since the lake sits there, it tends to get chilly. When i used to run the track around it, the mist would hit my skin. God, that felt great. With cold, all you can hope for is to find heat somewhere. I was burning yesterday night. My skin was hot right down to my legs, my face felt flushed. Still, i felt cold. My blankets didn't suffice.
I feel like getting in the shower again, turn up the hot and lean against the wall.
Maybe then i can get some clarity.
I don't want to get naked right now though.

It's too cold.

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