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Dear Diary...
My wedding is in two months. No amount of feeling of foresight could have made the younger me see this coming no matter how much I wished it. I haven't tried on the dress I'm wearing
-though I need to before the end of this week just in case I don't like it- but I pretty much already purchased everything I will be wearing that day. I've bought the shoes, earrings, headband piece.
The date and time for the wedding ceremony is finalized. We pretty much know who is coming to the ceremony even though my fiancé already told me the room is SMALL, which is pretty typical for most government offices. I'm happy we got the date we wanted and that the process of getting the ceremony booked wasn't difficult at all.
I've decided to let my fiancé take care of his own wardrobe. I don't want to get too involved in what he's wearing but I will be buying him a bottle of [my] favorite cologne for him to wear since he doesn't ever wear any and buying something like that is a luxury.
I still need to take care of three of the most important things: The plane tickets, where my family will be staying and the health insurance we're required to have while traveling abroad. In all honesty, I'm not nervous about the wedding itself. I'm actually excited and looking forward to spending all the this alone with my husband. I already know that the second we go into the room, his South American libido will come full force. We haven't seen each other in two years and he's dying to get his hands on me. My dad joked about me coming home pregnant and even though I thought it was funny, I don't intend on coming back to the states pregnant if I can help it. South American men are passionate. Even the way he kisses me is intense, so I can only imagine what sex is going to be like on a daily basis. God have mercy on me, even though I'm looking forward to it.
My younger brother is getting married in September so our weddings will be in the same year even though mine is only courthouse but the plane tickets are death to a wallet. Dad is hating that because he hates spending money, point blank. The man just grabs on to every penny like he's about to go broke even though the house is paid off and he still works full time on more than enough income. I think he secretly resents that my brother and I are getting married in our 30's even though it's his damn fault that I'm getting married at this point in my life. I'm not forgetting that part of my life and the fact that he's responsible for a big chunk of my life being wasted. What ever the case and for what ever reason both my brother and I had long distance partners, both need/needed to do visas, both got engaged the same year and will both marry the same year. There's a lot to think about, a lot to do but I'm hoping that the worries that still linger in my head and heart will find their way to the solution pile, because I'm honestly tired of the trials and I am ready to give those to someone else who may need them. I've gone through so much, I think it's time for a break in the storm.
I really hope my parents enjoy themselves, especially dad who has never acquired the people skills to be a decent human being most of the time. He can't read the room like most people and he doesn't think before he speaks so he comes off as rude with no manners. Still, I'm hoping the five days he will be there will be a good opportunity for him to open himself up to other cultures, different accents and that he will open up to my husband to be more. Dad doesn't have a relationship with my fiancé but that just speaks on how my dad is in general. He doesn't have friends and wouldn't bend over backwards for anyone. So him not being the father figure I'd hoped he could be for my fiancé is something I don't come to expect since apart for being a financially responsible father, he was never much of anything else to me and my younger brother and i'v never been emotionally close to him. I'm not a daddy's girl, never was and never will be. Dad thinks providing a financially stable home is the extent of fatherhood and even though he's never said that out loud, he's never needed to. It's been obvious throughout our lives.

I just want to end this on a happy note, so I will.
I'm excited, I'm happy to be marrying someone I'm in love with who is also crazy about me.
I'm happy I'll get to go to Argentina for the first time!
Looking forward to many, many happy memories to come.

< --------------------------------------------- >

Much Love,

Past Confessions:
The someday dress anecdote - 2023-05-21
I’m just good at pretending. - 2023-05-15
To all the boys I've liked before. - 2023-05-14
Never a Daddy's Girl. - 2023-04-04
Choices. - 2023-01-07