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Dear Diary...
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2022-12-23
| At 35, i thought that i would just naturally progress into my own self and be fine with who i am -which is true- but i didn’t think i’d still be having conversations with my mother about the way she would like me to dress not just for every day but the upcoming holidays. The parental manipulations and guilt trips don’t stop- they just take a break and come back stronger. I’m sitting there shaking my head that this is still going on at this point in my life and wonder why apparently its not okay to wear whatever you want and feel comfortable in and mind your own business. It pisses me off that some parent wants their kid to be mini versions of them instead of understanding that not everyone wants to be a clone. I’m just now realizing that her ‘good intentions’ have caused me trauma in several areas of my life and that’s not something i want to pass down to my children. I’m upset enough to come here and talk about it but i am not foolish enough to let her wear me down. I’m not going to stop wearing the things i like for anyone just to please them…and that includes my husband. It just makes you feel like whatever you are doing is wrong because what- its not up to standard? I’m not giving in to this cultural manipulation and its sad that i have to leave this house to finally have some peace. Some family, eh?
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Past Confessions:
| The someday dress anecdote - 2023-05-21 I’m just good at pretending. - 2023-05-15 To all the boys I've liked before. - 2023-05-14 Never a Daddy's Girl. - 2023-04-04 Choices. - 2023-01-07 |