He is also anxious for us to start our lives together and is just as sick of the distance as i am. I keep telling myself that if i had known we would be in the state of pandemic as we are with no end in sight, we definitely would of gotten married a long time ago.

I’ve been thinking that having a dog or cat would help me deal with some of the blue feelings i’ve been going through. I feel like having a pet to cuddle with would reduce my sadness while we figure things out. I love animals and my dog ran away more than 3 years ago and is probably dead.

I just know things will get better once we have a date because that means i can travel without the hassle. That means i can start looking for an appropriate courtroom dress and get on the right birth control.

I get so emotional at times and i have to cry on the bathroom floor or i’d never get the chance to let it out at all. Out there i have to be courageous. It gets tough and i wish flights were shorter, cheaper but i am not as lucky as my younger brother. Mexico has not closed their borders by air and he can be there in 3 hrs. He can go often.
I am not that lucky.

I keep telling myself that our time will come but right now i feel blue with no pet to cuddle with.

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