Mooch and Earl Sunflower Style

when someday comes.

I woke up before my alarm this morning not tired or even sleepy but i had no desire to get out of bed or drive to work. I have all this sick time that is going unused when i hardly am sick to begin with so i decide to call and say i am using 8 hours and i am glad i did. It starts to rain and 7 this morning and it hasn't stopped since then.
I feel like there's so much to say on here but i haven't found the motivation to write on here about it. Maybe some day i will because i know i could never leave this space entirely. It's like a comfort that no matter how much you dismiss for a time, you always want to come back even if you don't as often as you should. There's healing in words, in reading back everything you've written and whined about. It makes looking back years later validate what you felt then and even if you were stupid to feel those feelings in whatever situation you were in, at that time, that's just how you felt and not even the present can change it.
I wish i could tell you i'm engaged or married or pregnant but those things seem to take longer for those of us who actually would truly cherish being married or being a mom and sharing a life with someone... and then you have those who are having kids they aren't taking care of or cheating on a wonderful partner and you think: 'those are the people that have what you want'.

Well, i hope to bring news that will make sense soon enough. I've still got my job and that always makes it easier to plan a future for someday. Don't know when that 'someday' will come but i have faith that it will. I am not sure how things falling into place come from my own doing or just some cosmic Godly fate interference but i'll take either one.

It won't stop raining, but i'm okay with that. I guess i made the right choice in opting out from work. I needed an extra day to just be inside and watch mindless things on t.v.

Tomorrow is a different day.

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posted on 2017-11-08 @ 3:27 p.m.