But if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth.
I keep getting disappointed at work like i expect things to suddenly turn around after having a good week.
Things are always going to be like this as long as there are people willing to play the game.

Like i said to a friend: Being an ass kisser only works if they like you back.

I'm anxious and nervous and antsy.
i want to leave so badly but i know i can't until i secure another job 100%.

I'm sick of grown ass women gossiping, snitching and getting all the benefits. it's in my face all the time. Daiana said i should call HR but it's not worth it. they won't do anything and if the job was worth keeping, i might of called ages ago but i already know it's not.
Yeah, i get angry at the injustice for an hour or so, then i calm myself down and remember that i have to keep trying and that that in its self is worth a lot.
There's going to be a lot of unfair things going on right in front of me all of my life but as much as i know that to be true, i still wish i could be around people who value others and aren't just out there to suck up all the glory just because they can.
I haven't stopped dreaming that I'll find the right fit for me and i just want to move on and build towards my life with the man i love and i don't want to get too overwhelmed with stress about how I'm going to pay bills that one morning I'll just give up and stop caring. i do not want to be that person.

I casually noticed a Day Care while driving past DeSoto. i don't know how long it's been there but my mom noticed it and said the name of it out loud. i quickly got my phone out and wrote the name down on my notes page. I looked it up, got to a website and i decided to e-mail the owner about working there as a teacher.

I pondered: 'Wow... ME...a teacher?'
then thought: 'well, why NOT me?'

I'm good at so many things, including being with, caring and teaching kids and it feels like a waste not to use such gifts but everyone out there now a days wants you to have a freaking doctorate and that just halts the process for a lot of people who need a decent pay who didn't finish or go to college, you know?
what ever happened to natural talent or exposure as enough credibility? there's just some things that sitting in a classroom won't teach you and that is a given natural talent.
All it takes is one person's YES to get the ball rolling.

And here i am, still trying even though I'm emotionally exhausted and anxious for my search to end... and since i don't believe in jinxes, i shared this here and i try because i know for a fact that I'm better that that crummy store I'm working in now and i know it's just a matter of time. how long, I'm not sure but I'm trying and that's all i can do.



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posted on 2015-03-25 @ 3:15 p.m.