I just want to talk to him every second of the day and count down the days together. i can't imagine how heart broken i will be when he has to go back. a huge part of me wants to be selfish and keep him but how would that even work out?
staying put in a country that isn't yours requires lots of preparation in advance. i want things done right and i don't want to mess up any chance he might get to stay permanently by doing things rashly.
Then there's the other thing...
the other not so little thing. him wanting to give me an engagement ring. he has even brought up the possibility that my parents might say that it would not be the best time to get engaged and that neither of us are ready.
Then again, look how long its taken us to get here. barely his first trip here. when he arrives here on the 16th next month, we will have been dating 20 months... just 4 months short of 2 years. we would have to wait another year for him to get more vacation AND money and our plan was for me to go to Uruguay too but with my bills, God only knows how long it will take me to save up for a flight that expensive and because everyone is so overprotective of me, they wouldn't want me going alone...which means who is going to shell out close to $2,000 just to essentially tag along while i visit my boyfriend for business that only interests ME and HIM?

I'm probably thinking too much about it and part of me thinks that dad will especially say we can't get engaged right now but it's my decision... but i also want my folks on my side. i want no animosity or hurt feelings. i KNOW i will marry fabián so why prolong the inevitable?
i don't care if i have to stay engaged for awhile. there is a promise there and i want my ring.

i want everything to go my way for a change.
i screwed up big time with the last person i was in love with. this one is the real deal. my true, true person and i believe he's the one i am meant to be with. the one i was always meant to be with.

i am going to be his wife, come what may.

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