and i think: 'So, THIS is what it must feel like when you like someone and they actually like you back in the same measurement. I've never had that before.

It's strange and exhilarating.
I can tell he's a keeper.

"Are you happy?" mom asked.
-Yes. In the sense that i've never had any guy do what he does for me. I feel safe, secure."

-" All those other guys, Their loss."

and for the first time, i could really see it. Yes. It WAS their loss. All of them. I don't even have to sit and wonder anymore if its even possible for someone to be so completely in love with me that they would do just about anything to make sure they don't lose me...even when i haven't demanded anything of them.
Someone can see a life with me.

Just when i thought that was next to impossible. No one wants to commit anymore, but out there somewhere there IS someone who wants the same thing you do.

He had more than enough reasons to hate love and life and everything in it but it turned all around. He saw my worth, saw the chance and decided that he couldn't risk not having me as his. He took it.

Other people just don't understand that a person can only wait so long...or be miserable. I needed to feel like i could love someone and they would love me back...just once. There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't communicate with me or asks me how work, church or babysitting for Julian is going. I'm excited. For the first time in my life i can say that i won't be without that love.

Soon, he will join me in Texas for a week, finish school back home then if everything goes according to plan, eventually move here permanently.

Just when i thought that good things couldn't come to those who wait, i was proven that can be true in some cases. It feels like i've waited TOO long for this... and now it's happening.

Love does in fact exist and yes, someone can actually love me forever.

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