I think i was crying because i felt relief. Relief that i had finally said it to him who was always important to me. He whom i never confided in about anything.
The words poured out of me like a flowing river but i told him i wasn't worried anymore. Not scared. I didn't ever want to go down the path of desperation.

Yes, for a long time i questioned everything. Why i was here and why every time i tried with people, nothing worked. Everything was harder than it had to be. It seemed that no person i was ever interested in as a teen going through school or as a young adult now ever wanted anything more from me.

The answer was there. They were weak hearted. I used to feel like i wasn't up to anyone's level or just simply not good for them but dad said "You are such a strong person. You need someone just as strong as you" So maybe i've just been around the wrong people. People who can't see themselves as strong. I've had to pray for strength because there's times that i know i don't have it but asking for help, guidance and a way out of the hole is the attitude of a strong person. It's okay to lean on others. To help each other through.

I guess that's the truth. I don't want to be alone, but at least now i know that i am worthy. Worthy of anyone. I just hope that someone will realize how much i have and how much i am, hold on to me and never let me go.

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