"Meeting Him"
Cousin: So what's his last name?
*she tells me*

Me: Ummm... yeah. Why?

Cousin: I looked him up. I wanted to meet him. He's a white boy alright! lol

Me: Yes ma'am... and a gorgeous one too. His hair is growing back and i love it.

Cousin: Good. I think longer hair suits him.

Me: I'll have to tell him that next time i speak to him.

Cousin: You haven't spoken to him?

Me: Nope.


She seemed a little taken back that i wasn't making such a big deal about not having spoken to him in a few days. Just kind of explained to her that him and i aren't together and that he doesn't owe me daily texts... that he's got school and work and that if he was busy, that was perfectly understandable to me. Yes, she pretty much knows the jest of what we've had but since he's been in and out of my life for certain periods since i've known him, i hadn't really touched on him on our conversations and i still don't... not really because i like to keep most things private but the other night she HAD asked me if i had talked to him. I simply shook my head no and her attention span left me after she got some incoming message on her phone.

It surprised me that she wanted to see what he looked like. I think the only time i showed her an actual picture of him was way back in 2006 and after that, she never asked or wanted to know whom i was interested in. Conversations about me don't last long because she shifts them back to things about her and i let her. I don't mind her spilling her guts off about something else. I would much rather just keep most of it to myself.

I kinda love the idea that i can keep something to myself and not have to share it with [people i know] even though there is also that little voice inside that someday wants to yell to everyone i know that i love him.

Dare to dream, right?

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posted on 2013-03-05 @ 12:55 p.m.