I feel like i'm not getting enough food but i also know that this is new and my stomach will growl now that i'm not stuffing my face.

When i told Jenn about my diet, she said: "I'm fat and no matter how hard i try to lose weight, nothing works so i'm just going to eat whatever i want and be happy and fat..."
I don't think i could ever feel the way she does. I couldn't be completely happy in her skin if that's her mentality. I get where she's coming from to an extent. While i'm not really fat or have the same body type as she does, i have to try my hardest. I don't think she's really, really tried. We mostly want to do things on our terms or without true effort so when things get hard, we stop because we don't find ourselves strong enough to finish.

I want to be one of those people that tried the absolute best and succeeded. Our bodies tend to react differently to changes. Then there's people like Debbie- one of my managers- who feels guilty for even eating a hot wing even though her body is great. She's been on the other side of weight so i understand her fear.

I already have dinner planned. Red Potatoes with olive oil, a little salt & pepper in the oven and some coli flower on the side. Sounds great.

I start my early shifts again after not having a truck in two weeks. I'm going to need all the energy i can get.

prev / next