It's knowing that no matter how much of a fascinating, good looking or smart person you are, there are probably many out there just like you. It's the individualism you bring to life that sprouts love. It's those little things about you that you won't find anywhere else that will make the difference.

I'm not the same person i was. I was stupid in assuming that the things i did over the years would make him stay but he never did.

He is free to do whatever he wants. I do not want to suffocate him, control him, or make a fool of myself by being jealous, upset. Those days are over. That's not me anymore. Those emotions are useless and pointless. They do not make a person stay. The choice is always theirs. Every action, thought, decision is nothing but a conscious choice.

You learn grow up inside and realize that life is much bigger than the little world you create with a limited entrance. I know the person i want to be for the rest of my life and that's who i want to keep being.

I love him with all of my heart and i would certainly marry him. When you fall in love with someone, you expect to be their only want, need and desire. You don't want to look into their eyes and think they might wish they were still with someone else. I want to marry him because there is no one else. My heart, mind and body belong to him. I've made the choice to love him and give my love to him and only him.

I feel in the depths of my heart that he still needs some time before he knows if he wants to try with me. In no way, shape or form do i expect to get married right away or remotely soon. I'm just saying that i am convinced of my feelings and would take that step when the time is appropriate and right and it's something both people want.

His happiness is all that matters to me. When you love someone that much, in the end... even though it would shatter your heart, you'd always be willing to sacrifice yourself even if it means they won't end up with you.

If that's not love, i don't know what is.

Yes, he's added me on Facebook. I'm glad for it but i am not going to be a stupid person about it... ever. I haven't even looked at his profile or pictures and i don't think i'm going to any time soon. I know him and i could probably guess what's on it. I don't want to hurt myself or flood my mind with thoughts. I'm not going down that road again. If he chooses to care about me, he will. We've had a lot of years. I'm one of his oldest friends and i've loved him for years. I don't need to tell him that because he knows it.

I want peace.
and part of keeping that peace is knowing when to back away from what causes you pain.
The rest is God's work.

xoxoxoxoxo.

prev / next