I Am.

She brought me a magenta sweater blouse. I tried it on, and as i did, i then told myself: Please don't be tight...

It wasn't but i thought: 'Is it supposed to look like this?'

I studied myself in the mirror for a moment, took it off and removed the tags.

It wasn't until i got in the shower minutes later that i realized something.

I am a Latina. Duh. Of course i'm gonna look like this. I'm not a Gringa. I might act like one sometimes, but i'm not.

I almost laughed as i wrapped my arms around my body and leaned against the shower wall. I knew i was never going to have B-Cup breasts or smaller hips. That's fine, I didn't want to.

This is me.
I should know it.
Take it.
Embrace it.

In part, it's my fault. I speak mostly English at home. Most of my friends are white or another race that isn't Latino/Spanish/Hispanic.

I should be happy that i have curves and breasts and legs.

I just forget.
I forget that someone out there might like this... Might like me so i should stop worrying about this shit.

I've been so afraid of wearing tighter clothes because i don't want everyone to see my body.

Someday, the person i'm going to be with for the first time will get to enjoy my body, no inhibitions or walls.

I have to remember that at the end of the day, i am who i am. A Spanish woman. My body is just fine.


I have to remember that.


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posted on 2012-12-07 @ 8:35 p.m.