Didn't even bother changing right away. Caught up on some television, had some laughs with it then i feel the incoming vibration of a text message. It's one of of those rare feelings you get when you think you can pick out from a list who you think it might be, then you find out it's exactly the person you weren't thinking of.

I could assume what he wanted. To see me perhaps, meet up somewhere and finally talk about what didn't really turn into anything but feeble attempts at dating or maybe take me up on the offer i so foolishly gave him while compromising possible humiliation... even though i let it go months ago. Sorry guy. I've moved right along with whatever false idea i had before of even trying for something.

That's what makes my blood boil. Waiting for a petty douche to come around when they feel like it never even counting on the idea that i might not want anything to do with you after you left me hanging. Right. Because the world revolves around your decision, not mine. I'm the girl who can afford to wait even more than i have already for something true and worthwhile, while you did nothing to even suggest that i was worth something but from the feel of things, your lack of initiative told me just what you thought of me in the long run. Perhaps i might of been a good possibility for you but certainly not enough to let me know soon. I don't intend to know the inner workings of other people cause they are each responsible for their own actions and neither do i intend to read minds but don't count on my eternal availability because it's no longer forever free to use when needed.

Some of us just know when we aren't truly wanted and simply take the hike towards the exit or just the road in front of us and start walking towards whatever path is there and we walk on it without looking back, because if we do, we might get our feelings hurt as to what could of been but hey, you can't wait forever for people.

Kid, I felt something nice for ya. Maybe it wasn't love but i took a chance on something. I normally don't do that but if i don't at least attempt something, i might question myself later. I didn't stop to think about what you might say, i just went for something risking looking like a moron in front of you. I'm trying to walk towards what IS meant for me seeing as the other way just doesn't want to work for me.

I drive, with the windows down and it's hot but still breezy enough that the inside of the car doesn't feel like hell. I sing along to some combination of 70's Soft Rock and then make the switch to a Def Leppard song and i realize that i've messed up a lot. I try though. I might mess up a lot and maybe some of my judgement needs work but honest to goodness i just want to be able to find someone great. Someday i will and him and i, we'll sit in the car together and sing along to some cheesy 80's pop song and that'll be enough. I'll be happy.

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