Getting back what was lost.
I've never actually thought of myself as special, but somewhere out there if someone is kind enough to remind you that you are to them, then it must be true, i guess.

Which brings Good news! My song- the song that my dear friend B-Hughes has kindly written in my honor- should be recorded very soon. He's lucky enough to count on having access to a studio and actually record his music. I guess you can also say that's been a dream of mine. To someday mean something to someone to inspire such a sweet song and the best way to keep that feeling forever, is through music. I'm excited to find out what it sounds like.

T-Wood was also in a couple of bands and played bass and did some song writing. He also wrote a song about me called "Texas Flower" or something. I read his lyrics but i don't have them now. That was some time ago and i didn't have enough sense to save his lyrics at the time. We don't speak for obvious strong reasons but i think i meant something to him or he wouldn't have bothered to write something about me. I might not ever hear a melody to his song but i know i can at least count on B-Hughes and "Mystical" which i am so happy and anxious about.

And if at some point i felt inferior or not good enough for someone, i can say that if even if certain people don't stay in my life forever, i've given them some kind of something to remember me by. Maybe love, music, compassion, laughter... or just my quirky friendship.

I miss TWood. Maybe he'll come back into my life someday and if he does, i'll welcome him in it. Hopefully by that time he'll realize that he doesn't need the messy baggage he currently carries. We had so many laughs. He always thought i was smart. When things are better, i hope to regain his friendship... hopefully for good.

I'd really just like to get back everyone i've lost.

I hated Andrew for the longest time without realizing that there was no point in hate, and i also did realize that what i felt was not hate but just hurt coming from the broken but healable heart of a fifteen year old kid who at the time thought of it as a tragedy. Now, he's been my Facebook friend for a good while. I see him on my feed and i chuckle at my idea of what i thought 'loving' someone was. It seems silly now. I do not hate him at all. I have happy nostalgic view of him. A girl that had a crush on a boy. Things are good between us. He's a cool guy. I still keep his picture somewhere around the house in a box. A picture i kept when i still felt something for him and never had the heart of get rid of. I keep it because he did mean something to me and even though we lost touch for a long time, i think it's cool that he's back on the radar.



prev / next

posted on 2012-10-19 @ 10:28 p.m.