The Clothes Don't Make the Woman.
It seemed that (including the situation with my brother), that Denisse also had something to say about my frumpy look yesterday evening. What's up with these people? Did i look that bad?

She looks around and shops for the hell of it, and even the way her own mom just grabs clothes and expects her to pay for them or gives her that little dough eyed look makes my stomach hurt. My mom would never do that to me, even if i could pay for it.

Dennise has clothes she hasn't worn yet and i think she's trying to compensate for something. I hate people that try and tell me what i should buy or get. It's easy for someone else to look at you and tell you what you should buy. If i spend money on things i know i don't really need, i don't pay my bills. simple. She doesn't get that and i doubt she'll pay for my car, gas, insurance, cell phone, groceries and other things come the end of the month.

I don't need to wear new clothes to feel like i'm worth something to someone, or even feel worthy for myself. I bit my lip because her eyes we wide and she sounded serious. "You need to update your wardrobe to something more modern" and i'm just taken back because we grew up together. She was always more than my cousin. We've always been more like sisters. She knows me, or i thought she did. She knows i don't care, yet she felt like she needed to enlighten me on my wardrobe choices. I didn't get it, or rather i didn't know how to react. She wants me to look pretty, yet i don't need to look "pretty" for my friends to accept me, like me, or to gain their approval in any way. I've always been like this. There's old video footage of me being 5 years old and stubborn, walking around, singing and playing with flowers and being amazed by little things.

If i could, i'd buy myself a lot of clothes but i think that even if i could, in all honesty, i'd still be pretty simple. I'm not obsessed with filling up my closet and buying too much stuff. It's a waste of money. If i need it, i'll buy it...otherwise i won't get it. I did end up getting this pink-ish top but i didn't like it 100% because i'm my very blessed in the front, i always end up looking larger than what i am in certain clothes. I fucking hate that.

If i had the choice, i'd always be in jeans and t-shirts. I'd still wear make-up. I'll even fix my hair all nice but i'd still rather be comfortable and i'd like to think that my boyfriend would feel the same way and not care about what i'm wearing. Don't get me wrong... I like to wear dresses and things on special occasions like weddings and fancy dinners and birthdays... but there's just people i don't give a damn about impressing. I don't need to. I'd like to also think i'm good enough not to have to do that so much. In spite of some insecurities i might have, i like who i am... and i just really want to be surrounded by people that don't feel the need to pull me aside and tell me i should wear something else.


xoxoxoxoxo.


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posted on 2012-07-23 @ 8:13 p.m.