It's been an interesting year so far friendship-wise and i am surprised at how some things have turned out from N-Lav to TWood to my other best friend S. Things with TWood ended badly. Our friendship is over but at least i have the great consolation of knowing he kicks himself in the ass every time for what he did to me. He will never be able to listen to one Journey track ever again without being reminded of me. N-Lav and i are great and our friendship is back on track. Best Friends.

I know I'm being tested in this area and i don't like that very much. I think it's safe to say i've outgrown S. In fact, i think i outgrew her millions of years ago- i just didn't want to tell myself that. It all proved true for me 100% when we spoke a few weeks ago. I'm not hurt because she's someone i thought -we all thought- we knew and as it turns out, she's been faking this whole time.
She claims we never knew the real her but how the fuck could we when she never even tried? If there's one thing about me that i can praise, it's the ability to make others feel like they can always be themselves.

S. is just full of excuses. She's a lazy 25 year-old who has never had a job in her life, has no social skills, refuses to even learn to drive because she had one seizure 7 years ago and is on great meds and can practically do anything normal...
she told me flat out she was happy the way she was...that she didn't need a job or want one. I mean, my heart sank. The woman has nothing to wake up for. She's a walking, talking coma. I feel bad for her...
I feel bad because she doesn't realize the severity of this...and i feel bad for her mother although if anything, i would slap the shit out of her for allowing S. to waste her life away.

What the fuck is going to happen if S's mom loses her job. She's not Jesus and she's not eternal. What's going to happen when she dies? How is S. going to support herself?

S. claims that the only person who she can really be herself with is some idiot named Bertha whom she met 2 years before me (i met S. when i was 11 in the 6th grade) and i almost felt like a fool...for giving this girl years and years of loyalty and encouragement. So, Bertha is a real friend because she lets you sit on your ass on a daily basis and doesn't say a word? Aren't real friends supposed to the the ones that knock some sense into you? Oh, forgive me for mistaking what a real friend is.

Newsflash: Life is a bitch. Cruel and no one out there is going easily help you. S. is healthy, smart, she's got all her fucking limbs for God Sake! Nothing is preventing her from going out there and building something.
No one's asking her to get a freaking Masters Degree... but Jesus...grow up.

Let me introduce you to the guy that only has one working arm at Blockbuster. Even he's out there doing something. It pains me to see perfectly smart people like S. just give up without even trying.

She isn't even got the prospect of any guy. nothing. Maybe she feels like she's better off being Lesbian since she fails terribly at love also.

It's got to be such a burden...waking up and feeling like you are more dead than alive. Most of us at least have people who care, who want to see us...people we form relationships with and love seeing.
She's a hopeless, jobless, careless idiot...

and i'm done with her.

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