Most of my Saturday was spend at Dollar Tree with Denisse and our moms. Between the two of them, they spent a pretty decent amount of cash on little Valentine's Day stuff. I had to admit, the stuff turned out pretty well. It was time consuming placing ribbons on the heart shaped table adornments. I'm not sure if i'll be able to go to the Valentine's Day thing. It's going to be on the 19th so it's not going to be on the actual day but it will be on a Sunday and because my work schedule varies (i worked 3 Sundays in a row last time) then i'm not so sure about this time. Can't say it really concerns me though. I've learned to breeze by this holiday without much thought. You become accustomed to being on your own after awhile even with the meaningless flirtatious things that go on at times. I've sort of dealt with the idea that no one i know or have known or have flirted with in the past or have gotten close to dating even completely sucks in the romance department. It's a little ridiculous when i think about it...the way chivalry, romance or anything similar has kid of died out and that's really too bad because i'm kind of "old school" in that sense. People that make an actual effort (no matter how small)to impress me- because face facts: people just don't give a damn anymore- People that go out of their way for me because they want to not because they feel they have to to get what they want. People that want to take the time to show me why i should give them a shot or trust them with anything because i'm the kind of person they want to be around. Those are the kind of people i want in my life.
I'm sad to see that all i receive as of lately is people sucking out the best of me and then taking off after they're okay.
No one wants to do anything for me. I'm the one that makes the effort but God forbid someone actually does something for me for once. Sometimes it's better to be alone, because if you let yourself down, at least you can't blame anyone else for what misfortune you bring upon yourself.

What's the point of even being so likable sometimes? It's getting harder to tell the difference between someone that's going to stick around and someone that is going eventually abandon you. Even if people don't mean to hurt you, they do. Why am i always getting hurt? Because i'm stupid enough to believe that the next person is going to be different...because i have faith in people...Because i refuse to believe that anyone is a lost cause.

Just ONCE i wish someone would prove to me that they're worth trusting and loving.
Who knows if such a person even exists.

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