What's Going On?
Tonight was err, interesting. I had today off and we were all able to go to Razoos and have a nice dinner. We sat in our usual group with the tiny exception of Rob who was the only kid among us. I could sort of imagine how he must feel being the only child surrounded by people in their 20's and i figured since i've already got a bond with him and i am also his bible study teacher that i'd make conversation, ask him about his day and ask him questions.
Thing is, he slightly had his back to me and would look at me, then turn around. Again, as 9 year-olds go, it seemed pretty normal bahavior that is until he turned to me a minute later and said: "Can you shut up?"

I kid you not, we all went silent and literally all of our jaws dropped.

"God...all you do is talk, talk, talk" and then he moved his hand in a talking motion. I was stunned.

"Did you REALLY just say that to me?" i went from utter shock to pissed mode quick.
"How DARE you talk to me that way? I am your teacher and i am OLDER than you. You are going to respect me and everyone else around this table, do you understand? I don't care if you are sleepy, tired, cranky or whatever. That is no excuse for your rude behavior. I am disappointed in you. I try my hardest every week to teach all of you kids how to treat each other with respect and you're going to talk to me like that? I am telling your mother about this"

He looked like a scared little cat. His own face changed in a matter of seconds and he said he was sorry.

"Are you really going to tell his mother?", Andy asked me.

-"Yes i'm going to tell his mother. What do you think...that i'm just going to let it slide? Nope. This kid needs to learn and if noone's going to say anything I WILL"

...and i did. I took his mother aside and i told her everything. She seemed too mellow about it, claimed she couldn't believe his behavior but i wasn't buying it. Rob has been acting very rude and nasty for the last few weeks and was even rude to Denisse earlier so i told her about it. If she wants to spoil that kid, that's none of my business but as long as he's in MY care, i'm not going to tolerate that crap. I don't kid around. He knows that now if he didn't fully realize it before.

I was so shocked and disappointed in him. His parents need to get a clue.
My mom backed me up 100% and applauded me for telling his mother exactly what needed to be said.

***

Aside from this, it's been a sad couple of days. I'm so hurt by what happened with N-Lav that i just cried. It's taking all of me not to call but i can't do it. The best thing you can do in situations like these is let it go. Even if it's hard, you just have to. Losing two friends...all within one month of each other SUCKS. It's the most heartbreaking thing that can happen. What do you do with yourself after something like this?
I just keep having the urge to cry even if it won't do any good. I could tell he was completely sad about it and it almost seemed like he needed to make the decision but that did not make me feel any better. I just went to the restroom and cried. Lately it seemed, nohing was going right and people that claimed to owe me gratitude a thousand times over were now disappearing from my life. How is that possible? I didn't know how to react or how it take any of it but i also knew that the decision had been made and i couldn't do anything about it. At that point, it didn't matter that his own heart was breaking. He decided and i didn't have a say, not really. I just let him do what he thought was best for him (at this time). And the thing is, in the depths of my heart i knew he would someday question whether he did the right thing. In his eyes, he always felt like owed me the world, yet i'm not allowed be a part of his.

Then i think to myself: What have i done to deserve such treatment? I just don't understand.



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posted on 2012-02-05 @ 10:13 p.m.