My ass hurts -because i'm on the ground- but i won't move. I hate how stubborn i am with myself sometimes. I need to change that. I'm waiting on my buddy Woodbridge to get home so we can Skype but i'm starting to get the vibe that it might not happen after all. We've tried and failed many times. That's just the way that it is sometimes. Shit happens. Things don't go as planned. Oh Well.
***
I can't get my friend T. off my mind. I think about him all the time. I keep imagining a shit load of things going wrong where he is and it doesn't help that i can't reach him. No signs of life on his blogspot, FB, Skype or anywhere else. I miss him so much. He was my go-to for a long, long time. It didn't even feel like he was in Lubbock. Fuck. I hate it that we didn't get to hang out the 2 weeks he was in Dallas with some of his friends. I still think about all the times i could of possibly passed him by on the street somewhere and i was too clueless to notice. We talked every day since he left for Korea and for the first month or so, he still text messaged me like he normally did because he was able to get an App for his cellphone. We'd text all night sometimes. He's a good conversacionalist and sometimes we'd talk about the dumbest shit but it was funny because i guess that's the kind of stuff you remember years from now.
After that month, he decided to let another of his friends back home in Texas use his phone and i could no longer reach him the same way. We did however make it a mission to Skype everyday, find a set time where it wasn't too late for me and too early for him. We always ended up Skyping around 7 or 8p.m. (my time) and for a good 2 or 3 hours every single day. When my dad used to work nights, on one of them T. and i spent the entire night writing eachother stupid IM's in Korean and it was pretty funny the way some of them ended up translated into english. I didn't go to bed until 5a.m. but i wasn't really tired until 7a.m. That day was fucking cool.
The last time i spoke to him was on his 29th birthday and i haven't gotten the nerve to say "Hey Friend, i miss you...where have you been? Everything okay?"
He hasn't tried to contact me and i want to keep my distance even though i kind of want to break that rule and just go for it. I want to ask so many questions. I want to know if he's going to come back home to Texas or go to New York where his parents are. My gutt tells me he might go to New York. When you're trying to choose between where your family is and where your life had no apparent direction, it's really no contest. If i were him, i'd go to New York.
I'm still optimistic about his visit here but we haven't talked about it for a long time. We had planned that he would come. I don't think he knows i got rid of 'Lenny' (my ex car...the VW) He akways said he wanted me to give him a ride on it but that's not going to happen. At least my Chevy is 1,000 times more spacious.
It's just felt longer. I hope he's okay wherever he is. I haven't been writing much on the Lefty Notebooks he sent me. I still look at the note inside he left me. He didn't write a whole page but just enough and then drew me a flower at the bottom. Men are never that expressive on paper. Even him, who is a writer by heart,mind and soul.
One day people will stop coming and going. One day, someone will stay back and never leave.

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