Bad Dreams are Made of This...
I just woke up from a God awful dream i was having. Involved a dark room where i knew bad spirits dwelled. I was trying to be led into a dark door which looked like a closet and in it was a person wish a smug evil face. He didn't have to say a word to me...i knew he wanted me to go inside.
The feeling i was having while in the dream was of undeniable fear.
I told him i was NOT going in the door and i said "No, my mother is going to come and pray for me"
Then my mother came and as i closed the door, that person had that evil grin as if to say "ha, yeah.." I held her hand and i recall starting to pray very loudy and in spanish. I remember saying: "God, In Your sons's name i pray that you take away all the bad from this room and with your magnificent power and name-..."
& that's where i was cut off.
As i was speaking, i could feel my voice i was loud and powerful joined along with my mother's hand and then a wind started to pick up as if it were making my words feel and seem more magnificent.
That's when i woke up, scared out of my mind. I know there's some kind of invisible battle going on that none of us can see but it's going on...a constant fight for our souls.
If i didn't mention this before to anyone, my mother and father are pastors. It's a small group so far as we started only 2 years ago. There's pressure that comes with that and i seem to still be on a limbo but i do love God, it's just the things around me that make it hard to be there fully.
It's a struggle like any other person would say.
Anyway, i texted Woodbridge but i got no answer(which is weird since he's always up) then i went & took a shot and texted Daniel but that was a waste. Don't know why i did that. He's not someone i can count on anymore and he won't respond unless it benefits him in some way. I need to get it through my head that he's not the Daniel that i used to call who'd always pick up and return my texts, or the one that would say something encouraging while i cried to comfort me. If there was any part of me whatsoever that felt like he could be there for me tonight, right now, that part has just had a reality check. In the text i simply said i was having awful dreams.
So no one is awake and the fear still lingers.
I wish i had someone to curl up against right now.


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posted on 2011-01-17 @ 3:56 a.m.