Mooch and Earl Sunflower Style

Float or Sink?

I'm amazed at how i can be so diffrent in situations that would kind of be considered the same.
Daniel (after almost 6 super long years) still has the ability to make me feel like i can't breathe...
like if it wasn't for my bones holding my skin, that i would go all over the place.
Jay (who likes me alot) and whom im just hanging out with is just kind of there. We're supposed to hang tomorrow but i'm not particularly enthused. He doesn't seem to be that out there or exude something that i would find appealing.
Maybe there's something wrong with ME, but then again, maybe not.
I'd like to think that i'm just getting this out of my system. I've turned down too many people in the past but i never said "What If i had said Yes?"
This time, i thought it wouldn't hurt to know, to see if he floats my boat. This is only a simple outing...our chance to really talk. I don't want it to be one of those times where i ask myself if this could of been something more and i just ruined it by saying "No Thanks" Maybe i had that luxury when i was 18 but i'm 23 now and good people alone are hard to come by in this city. Even if he ends up being my friend, i think i can handle that. Something tells me this won't go far. How can it when he causes no reaction inside or out of my body?
I wish i were more positive about all this. I wish i could just smile and say: "Don't sweat it so much. These things take time..."
And you know what? they do.
I mean at first, I didn't like Daniel right away. It took awhile. It's even hilarious when i think back and i even saw him like a brotherly figure. Imagine that. Okay, so at the time he was completely taken and i never imagined in a million years everything would lead to all of this...BUT...i guess my point is, i need to stop, breathe deep and have a little more faith in people.

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posted on 2011-01-12 @ 11:01 p.m.