thoughts of crayola.
Someone once told me that when you depend so much on another person, that means you have an identity problem...that you don't know yet who you are and that means you lean on someone so they can sort of complete you. I agree on parts of that but it doesn't all have to be true.
I happen to think you can just be fond of that person.
For some its hard to believe that someone might actually have good motives, a good interest...a genuine interest. they'd rather believe that there has to be something obsessive in the middle.
It's not hard to care for some people even when they've given you a thousand reasons to hate them. Some you just can't hate and truth be told, i don't think ive ever hated anyone. I might build up a resentment but it tends to fade in a span of time. I hate feeling "tied up" with an angerly emotion. I believe it weakens you more than the other person.

Daniel is one of the wisest people i know. When he talks, i think people stop to listen. Very few posses that quality but even though i admire him, there are certain things that i think of for myself and i will not let him comoletely influence me or take over and erase certain thoughts im stubborn on. He makes alot of sense most of the time, and i dig that for sure.

There are some things definately changing within, maybe the new age or maybe that i just know what's worth it.

I'm still battling an issue but it swims inside of me not in a bad way but in a way that i cannot stop and forget and i can't seem to put it to bed. Maybe that means there's more to it that i do not know. Maybe what i thought was over really isn't.
I have yet to find what it is that i have to do with this and i know that when i resolve it, it will no longer invade my heart, trust me, i'll know.

Sometimes i sit in my VW after work and i take a few seconds to lean back and think.
I now know what it is my car smells like and perhaps sitting there long enough i figured it wasn't burning plastic.

Nope. It smells like crayola.

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posted on 2010-09-08 @ 9:23 p.m.