Mooch and Earl Sunflower Style

I'm stubborn. I know it.

My head is throbbing right now. I feel a little bit empty inside, dissapointed, sad.I'm still crying...even now.
Everything feels unfair and i can't even figure out why.
I've never felt so much frustration in my life. Nothing has ever made me feel so upset. I hated laying there crying and not knowing what to do anymore.
I had no idea if everything was still even worth it anymore if in the end he was just going to leave me to find someone better than me, maybe someone that could give him the things i couldn't at the moment.
I feel weakened on the outside.
I still believe love is capable of overcoming obtacles...even this.

How can i make it through this when he's stopped believing in it?
I think our relationship has suffered alot becuase of the people he was dating behind my back. For some reason it ended and i was stuck with the consequences of that action. I was left with someone who was broken down and i couldn't do anything about it. I can't even remember the last time he made me smile or laugh, or made me feel like i was something special. He used to make me feel that way all the time. He'd say

"Babe, i just wanted to say i love you..." "Babe, you're amazing!" "I missed you!"

*cries* all of that's gone now and i miss it.

How can i have the strength hold on when i'm the only one carrying this love inside?

Even if i gave him exactly what he wanted, it's still not bringing him here and it's not going to make him love me.

I hope the rest of this day goes well. Hopefully i can give him what he wants before heading off to work today. I can't promise i still won't feel like crap while i'm there.

I'm stubborn. I know it.
So i'll never stop believing love is still somewhere inside him.

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posted on 2010-02-09 @ 1:27 p.m.