Someday.
I can't think about anything else but how gross i feel at the moment. I hate this- but it's something i'm willing to endure for the sake of having many children someday in the future. I want kids. They always seem to take a liking towards me.

For instance, i was at the grocery store yersterday with my mother. I turn around and i see this 2 year old sitting in a cart. He's got the sweetest blue eyes and he smiles at me and reaches out for my hand. Eager that he wanted to touch me, i went towards him and i almost wanted to touch his dirty blonde hair but i didn't want to feel like i was being too intrusive because his dad was right there. I took a few steps back and just smiled at him from far away.

This happens on many ocassions with kids so i'm glad i have that maternal instinct. I'm sure my babies will be beautiful and well behaved and i hope i have a daughter first because i can't wait to name her Madison. I've been saving that name for her when i have her someday.

Today at church Denisse set her purse down in front me while i searched for my cell phone in my own purse. She took out this folded paper and i realized it was torn from a magazine. She unfolded it and there was a picture of a model in a wedding dress. She said she was flipping through a magazine and saw it. She liked it so much, she tore it out and explained to me that she was going to save it because she wanted something similar for someday.

I looked at it and smiled. It was beautiful and very similar to what i always dreamed for my wedding. I tucked my hair behind my ear, bit my lip and sighed as i looked at it some more.
It was something i hadn't thought about recently, but its something that's always in the back of my mind and Denisse's mind also. There was nothing wrong with dreaming of a wedding. I hope mine is beautiful and exactly as i want it.

So, for all those dreams i've got stored inside of me of True love, weddings, and beautiful babies, i'm willing to endure any period.

Suddenly, i'm not as whiny as when i started this.

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posted on 2009-10-04 @ 9:20 p.m.