I like him. I think he's got something. I've always thought that but we came and went with our own lives and only talked every once in awhile. We stayed up all night 2 days ago. That was something. I haven't forgotten it yet.
I was still drowsy when i woke up. I didn't go to bed till 2 in the morning. I think i needed a couple more hours of rest to feel like myself.
Everything with T.K. and i is casual right now and i haven't forgotten about Daniel all of a sudden. I think about him alot still and if you asked me, i'd say i was still very much in love with him. I think that the part of me that is used to thinking with my heart has surrendered me into thinking with my mind, my reasonable thoughts. Daniel sabbotages things on his own. I could try as hard as i can but if he refuses to show any interest, then i can't do anything about it. It's just difficult to believe in a person that tells you they love you and then goes and shows you the opposite of it by lying and being with other people. I wish things were diffrent. I wish Dan was the type of guy that i could still lean on the way i used to, but i'm not sure that he even wants to be that person. I miss him even while he's talking to me most of the time. I yearn for that caring individual that i knew. Thing is, i can't can't keep hoping he'd come back. The only thing i can do is keep going myself, on my own. If he wants to be with Karen still or even Jean, he can do that. I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me because i don't want to live knowing the person i love wishes things could have worked out with another woman.
I think that in that respect, i've got some dignity. I don't want to beg him to be with me.
I just think the 'me waiting' time is over. No more waiting for Daniel to come around. Just got sick of it.

For the record, T.K. and I are just friends. I know he likes me and i'm very fond of him, but everything is under a limit. We know when to draw the line. We never say more than we're supposed to and bite our tongue when we have to. We know that we can't completely let go until we know for sure there's something there for us. I just wonder when he's coming to town again.

Lubbock is still 5 hours away.

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