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2024-04-16
| As much as i consider myself to be an ambivert, I tend to lean towards the introverted side depending on just my mood. My younger brother invited a couple from church for easter Sunday to the house. My first thought was Ugh, why? But you know, I made the effort, behaved delightfully and everything was fine, BUT it left me drained at the end of the day. I noticed a lot of introverts mention that-- being drained when it comes to meeting new people. I always need like a freaking week to recover from the shenanigans. Because these encounters are usually not initiated by me. I'm swept in there by default because I'm around. I'm looking forward to the time where my extroverted side can shine around people I actually want to be around. I don't understand the people that can enthusiastically socialize for 5, 6, or 7 hours. I can do 3 hours, tops but even at the 2 hour mark, my social battery is going down. The switch happens instantly where I know I've had enough and my fight or flight is kicking in. My husband knows that look and one of the many things I love about him is he's always willing and ready to take off when I'm done. We both made a huge effort on our wedding at the courthouse as well as the party everyone threw us the next day. Neither of us like being the center of attention. It's like that Cillian Murphy meme where his facial expressions are of him being so done with it all. I really just enjoy my own company more than being around a big group of people. My husband's visa can't get approved fast enough. we're still on our waiting period. A huge part of me knows that I need this time to get shit together even though nothing major has shifted in my favor and I'm walking through life numbed out of my mind, then the other part of me wants to be selfish and see him here tomorrow. it's a constant thing of knowing what's right and also wanting to be a little selfish.
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| Because i don’t want to is a good reason. - 2024-02-26 Hopes, Mistakes and Former Friends. - 2024-02-02 God doesn’t take Attendance. - 2024-01-13 Finding my Stellar Again. - 2024-01-10 |